Let me take care of you
by Eve Piton
Summary: Mark is sick but he doesn't want anyone to notice. Especially Roger. MR slash!


Mark sat down on the couch in the loft. He felt awful. The room was spinning around him and , even if his body was shakig, his skin was burning like hell. He had been this way for the last two days but he hadn't told anybody. He didn't want anyone to worry about him. Especially Roger. Roger had been wasting away since Mimi's death two months before, and was now really weak. He didn't want his best friend to fall ill taking care of him. And so for the last two days he had left the loft very early in the morning to return only when he was sure Roger had already gone to bed. Usually he spent all the day in the park or in the subway but that afternoon his body had started shaking so badly it had become impossible for him to stay out any longer. And so he had had to come back and was now waiting , full of guilt, for Roger to come home and find him that way.  
As his mind became more and more confused, he heard the door open.  
"Mark" Roger voice sounded so far away but he was sure his best friend must have been nearby ."What are you doing silly boy?I've been looking for you all the day long"  
Mark felta a cold hand touching his forhead. "Jesus Marky. You're burning!!How long have you been this way"  
"Three...three days" Mark muttered.  
"Three days?Are you insane?Why haven't you told anything"  
"s...sorry" Mark found himself suddenly on the verge of tears.As they started spilling from his eyes Roger suddenly started to panic. He was not used to see Mark weak and scared. He reminded me of Mimi on her last days and it scared the hell out of him.  
"Ok now calm down." he stuttered "Everything is gonna be ok. But we'll havo to go to the hospital. I'll call a cab. You just hold on"

The ride to the hospital was very quiet. Roger half carried Mark down from the stairs and, while in the cab, he held him all the way to the ER. The driver kept eyeing malevolently at him but he didn't care. He wouldn't let go of Mark , no matter what people thought. At the ER he sat beside Mark in the waiting room for almost three hours. By the time Mark's turn came, his friend was raving. The doctors led him to a separate room where they visited him. Roger waited for them outside the room, pacing and playing nervously with his hair.  
When the doctor exited the small room he practically jumped at her.  
"What's wrong with him?" he asked, almost yelling.  
"Calm down sir, this is a hospital not a concert hall"  
"What's wrong with him?" he repeated in a low but menacing tone She sighed: "It's nothing. Just a bad tonsillitis. We've given him some amoxicillina and we're keeping him for the night. He should be better in a day or two"  
Roger sunk to his knees "Thank god. Why did he do something so stupid?" He asked to no one in particular.  
"Apparently he was worried for you" was the unrequested answer.  
Roger looked up. The doctor smiled.  
"I didn't understand very well. But apparently he thought you were ill and he would have killed you, had he let you take care of him"  
Roger sighed: " Mark you'll never change"  
The doctor looked at him inquiringly. "I've got HIV" Roger explained to her "He...he's the one who take care of me"  
She nodded : " I understand." she said " But in a relationship reciprocity is essential"  
" A rel...no wait"  
"It's ok. I'm not judging you but I suggest that you take care of your partner, not only using condoms. You know he must love you very much to do what he did." Roger nodded.He had no strenght to fight against her.  
"Now go sit beside him.I'll let you stay for the night"  
"o..ok"  
" And sir"  
"Yes? don't be afraid of him"  
"I'm not afraid" he protested " I held him all the way.  
But she had already gone.  
Roger sighed and entered the room. Mark was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. "Silly boy" Roger muttered taking his hand. He looked at Mark. His friend looked so peaceful,so different from what he had been in the waiting room. Now that he came to think about it he realized that he hadn't seen Mark this way in a long time. Mark was alway nervous, jittery, always running across the town, worrying about him or Collins, helping Maureen and Joanne. He was like a mother to all of them. Roger smiled and uncounsciously started stroking Mark's hair. After a while the young man stirred in his sleep. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around.  
"R..roger?" he asked, he felt better but he was still confused.  
"Hi silly boy" Roger greeted him. His tone wasn't accusing but it saddened Mark.  
"I'm sorry" he murmured " I"  
"Shh" Roger silenced him "I should be the one to say that. The doctor told me you did this for me"  
Mark blushed " I...I was just worried you know"  
Roger smiled : " I know. You are always worried about all of us. You're like a big mum" Mark laughed weakly: " I don't wanna be your mum, pretty boy front man "  
" And what do you want to be"  
He felt Mark body tense : " How about boyfriend"  
Roger expression went blank. He didn't know what to say. A yes came to his lips but he prevented himself from saying it. He stood up and walked out from the room. As he closed the door behind him he leaned against the wall. What was wrong with him?He was a guy. A straight guy. He couldn't be in love with Mark. But then again couldn't a person change during his life? He had already changed many times. He used to be a junkie and he had given up on it. He used to be a ill-tempered person and now he was a relly sociable person. He had loved Mimi yes, and now he was in love with Mark. The doctor's words came to his mind "Don't be afraid of him". He opened the door and returned to sit by Mark's side. Mark was still awake. As Roger entered the room he turned to face the window.  
Roger sighed: "Mark listen. " he said "I'm sorry I"  
" I understand" Mark interrupted him "You are my friend but you like girls and you still love Mimi. I know. I shouldn't have told you anything"  
"Mark" Roger sighed "That's not what I wanted to say. Listen I'm sorry I walked out from the door. You know sometimes I get a littlr scared...but I'm not afraid of you. I want you to be my boyfriend an I want to be your boyfriend"  
Mark turned to stare at him " You serious"  
Roger nodded: "Just promise me one small thing"  
"What"  
"Let me take care of you" 


End file.
